Monday, January 28, 2008
Lord, i need you. i'm breaking down. first time this year. help. 0 comments
i'm speaking aloud a prayer. a prayer i hope you'll hear and answer like asap. My department is screwed Lord, screwed. and i always thought that Lord you were guiding me and helping me make correct decisions all along. Lord, whats happening? On saturday, I've come to realise that both my assistants have an extremely strict mum. which means i am about to have heads or assitant heads that cant attend meetings and what not. which means i'll have assistants who will not have the time and freedom to do their duty due to parental control. Lord, what are your plans? i'm lost. and tired. and yet you said " come onto me all who are weary and i will give you rest". i have not had a single rest. im tired. weary. exhausted both mentally and physically. my mind is stretched to its fullest Lord, and you dont seem to be doing anything about it.
after that call, i felt perhaps getting him as my assistant was the greatest mistake. i was too soft and biased. and it changed his attitude. Lord, help me. our relationship drifting apart, i hardly get to talk to someone i use to love most now. and now that i've made up my mind to be harsh and to scold, i'm faced with an attitude of "scold loh, i dont mind". Lord, whats happening. what happened?
i've comfort many with the bible verses in your scripture. but i can never comfort myself. Lord i need you. i need ur strength to lift me up. i'm really weary Lord. i need someone Lord, i need you. send me an angel. or a friend. but i noe u never do. but Lord, i would still liek to pray for guidance that u continue to lead me to the right path and make right decisions, and to bless my dept. Lord heal my heart's wound, and strengthen me for you said come onto me all who are weary and i will give u rest.
In jesus name
Amen. 0 comments
Monday, January 21, 2008
just band com meeting. another adrenaline rush. stress hormones. or probably a hormone of despair, helplessness and dissapointment. i dunno if i've chosen the right ones to take over. i've no doubts about them. they HAVE the potential. but probably time management and other factors and commitments like class, studies, relationship and what not. its hard to choose. perhaps one day they'll realise. i dont want my dept to fall. and i wont allow it. So Lord i pray u watch over my dept and asses(assistant), guide them lead them and be with them, that you grant them wisdom and good time management. thank you lord. amen. chirstian songs coould be a huge stress relief. listening to sherrie's hillsongs. and yup, feel much btr. i have no idea whats in my mind now though. its all messy and i dunno what lies ahead. hope the Lord will guide me. i need someone to talk to. desperately. cos i think i just lost one. 0 comments
Sunday, January 20, 2008
bio teaches us that adrenaline rushes into ur body when ure stressed up. i think yesterday i had a huge adrenaline rush. mega ultra super duper hyper adrenaline rush. and thanks dickson and esther for helping me. really don noe what to do without them.
and talking to dickson could be fun, or at least unboring. hahas. thanks dickie. at least i'm not so bored this few days. oh and thanks sherrie for lending me the hillsongs! omg, hillsongs is like woots! praise God! hahas. just that i can only read 2 out of the 5 disk she lend me. zzz.
worship today was awesome. sermon was ok but i liked the worship songs. yea. and they approached me to ask if i could be backup singer for youth service. yays! finally, like 14 years trying to serve in this aspect of church and when i chnage it happens. praise God! hope that yea, He blesses me with good voice and all. =)) oh yes, i know He does and He did.
theres meeting with timo tmr. but mum wants me back early. zzz. lots of stuff to do and just no time. and had to teach dickson over the phone for chemistry for 1hr 40 min earlier. then sat still giving tuition.zzz. oh and, heres the funny part.
was talking to dickson on the phone and joseph on msn. then i told dickie like wait i put him on loudspeaker. so my mind was like loudspeaker loudspeaker. and then i type to joseph saying i was approached for backup singer and i wrote this out of dunno where, thanks to multi tasking. "oh ya, i got approached by jean to be louspeaker." LOL. he was like what??? be louspeaker for what. then i realise i was typing crap. lol.
oh and i was on the phone with dickson teaching chemistry, and joseph was asking me physics on msn and on my study table i was trying to do my bio workbook. so much for triple science. zzz. 0 comments
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
sian. now in school comp lab 2 doing some english stuff. ok, no time to blog at home so i thought now would be great.. hmm, lesson was ok today but assembly was just so ridiculous. we had some ridiculous rules from the discipline comp. like wth. anyways, yea. besides that, life is just so boring. ok. shila raj coming le. see ya! 0 comments
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
okay i'm seriously friggin bored at home. sec 3s, come back soon! lol. realised actually how impt a role the sec 3s play in my life. dickson's always online for me to chat with. my darling calls me at night. esther and ivan have to have regular assignments and meetings with me. and now when the sec 3s are all gone, i feel friggin bored. ok, come back soon. fullstop.
lessons were rather ok. in the morning went to 1e5 again, they rock lah! they gave us facils a bag of sweets that they've won. its like 1e6 last year. hahas. anyways will give the facils when they've returned from camp. mee fong came for geog lessons, was quite ok. mr ng went for reservees, so did jian bao with miss nai po chu. and ong lay hong is giving a chem test i heard. like hello? i only know of it today?!??!?! and 44 other classmates didnt even bother to notify me! wth. but anyways, lets come back to reality. we're in e1, what do u expect but a bunch of selfish people. hahas. till then. 0 comments
Sunday, January 06, 2008
"Hi I'm back? u missed me? yes i noe u do. dont have to say anything. silence means consent. hahas."
okay. so that was like my copyrighted sentence everytime i come back from lessons to my sec 1 class. so sec 1 camp was great. too lazy to update so many details but just generally, first day of sch went to their class quite quiet. then sec day had camp itself. joined them after lessons, and they were quite enthu. had to be station master for rush hour. but after that camp preperation and after dinner was fun. i was like damn high after dinner. then do the cheer and all. then even in class after dinner, the other facils were like so friggin irritated by my lameness and highness. hahas. but at least the sec 1s enjoy and that impt.
second day was real tiring cos that morning slept at 3. woke up at 5. then at 6 plus talk to the class and spoke more about myself -.- anyways, didnt have much lesson so most of the time with my class. then played rush hour with my class plus campfire prep. was real fun cos we had to do sexy moves and all. with everything, there was campfire despite rain initially. all went well nad then had supper. read the people's reflections. and i'm so honoured to be in most of them =) hahas.
third day was real tired but had to cheng zhu. erm, did some autograph, and ultraman got first! yay! hahas. at keast after all the effort and voice we put in, we got first. so quite proud of them as i asked them to promise me to get first like my 1e6 last year. so had to go for cca orientation.
sigh. kindda miss the camp. and i really hope to be a facilitator next year, but too bad gonna graduate. oh oh oh and i'm like real popular facil from 1e5! hahas. cos have the evaluation form then have some best facil or something and like more than 3/4 the class put my name? LOL. and they claim i'm funny zzz.
okay, zi high time over. time to get to studies. till then. 0 comments