10:01 PM
SADLY THERE IS NO POST
to tell u the truth, i never like band days. not because band isnt fun. its that stressful tiring job, plus the heartbreaking moments i have to endure. came to realise just now that my emo days coincidentally all happen to be on a band day. ya, u probably noe why.
the year is coming to an end soon. and we'll be getting back our results tmr. i remember first having my sons. they were loving chubby people, until "they" started entering their lives. for the purpose of this case study, lets call "they" as "they" =) so yah, the people whom i love dearly are now.. gone. i remember sharing practically all my secrets with my best friend i ever had last year, my most beloved son. and ka-pow, hes gone with the wind. the second close friendship i had started this year, after synerize. i was pretty close to him, until after the exams when i became forgotten as the one who had helped him all the way, supporting them with whatever i give. the third and probably the last is my alpha and omega, cos yea. started off before i flew to aussie, and thats probably why i was so close. but yea, nothing gold can stay.
somehow, God seems to be taking everything away from him. i do hope it is one of his good plans, because i've lost everything i ever wanted, i ever needed, i've ever desired for. wake me up from this nightmare Lord. oh right, this isnt a nightmare. its a reality.
i've lost my sons. my girl. my nice 2005/6 cornet sound. my leadership potential. my responisbility. my happiness. my grades. my people. and most of all, my senses.
im going crazy. really. i really just wanted to stay at my sectiona homeground earlier and rot there. haha guess what, nobody even realised my existence, lest my dissapearance. dear old insignficant me, playing british invasion all alone. i didnt wanna jump down lest my brians pop and ooze out, but rotting there doesnt seem like a bad idea. maybe that what i should do. or drown my self in the sea.
yea my sons. they were the ones i loved most. on the entire planet, in theh entire universe. of course, God came first but somehow sometimes they are either above God or on par. but anyway, look what i have now. one is attached to a devil worshipper. the other to his future wife. the other with a fellow junior. and the other mesmorised by someone else. and yay, im out of the picture. see, God seems to be taking away everything that i loved.
remember me saying that nice lil' note pinned on my table given by ms chan to remind me that i am significant? i beg to differ. now as i look at it again. i seriously doubt the first line that " many people have given me many positive inputs about you". more like negative and complaints. so what if i put in the effort and take time to help the sec 2s with their work. i aint no gaining anything. not that i want, but well a simple thank you would really brighten up my day, like dickson did. so what if i set the thoery test from 11 to 1 in the wee morning. i just seem like a criminal charged by the spca reported for cruelty to humans. so what if i cared for my class and my band, at the end of the day, its still them who gain the most and selfishly care for themself.
little mr nice was too nice that hes forgotten. thats probably why hes here sitting on the comp blogging his thoughts away- hes all alone, in this huge dark world of his own.Labels: hes all alone in this huge dark world of his own
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