Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
8:30 PM
heyhey. lets see. there was open house yesterday. wasnt in a really good mood. so i ended up spending most of my time in the chem lab folding origami and doing some mixing with the chemicals. the band performance was kindda cool. we finally manage to march. almost broke down at smoke cos there wasnt suppose to be a repeat. somehow things manage to be great and thanks be to God. Blessed be his name!
initially wasnted to come home after open house and type out some emo post again. but somehow, chilli got me going and im fine after a good meal of curry chicken. yay. KL trip should be confirmed and we're going to the museum there too -.- guess it can be fun if we want to. i wanna go shopping! but m'sia's products... hmmm... unreliable? if only we could go genting highlands. LOL. oh, and i wanna go that times square and play the indoor theme park. sounds kindda fun.
went to church today. had a lot to catch up with joseph. apparently he didnt tell me so many things till today. hmph. but anyway, went bugis to have lunch before proceeding to bras basah. went to swee lee which is some music shop. and he began his guitar craze. luckily, my darling called and so qiao both of us were lame and had nothing to do. so we started crapping till our ears are hot. on top of us being hot ourselve =) anyway, bought some ABRSM papaer and manage to see the lias or whatever u call that peg thingy. and saw a real cute trumpet which is around the size of your palm and a few cm more. cool eh? trumpet leh! and half the size of my own cornet in the band store! oh well, darling called earlier too. kindda nice to talk to someone u love. haha.
and ian. brokeback? NOT. =)
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007
8:23 PM
wasted a whole morning at NYP. kindda fun cos we get to skip lessons and see the scholars compete. and answer those really tough questions. didnt win anything at the lucky draw. and i managed to mark finish the stuff with the help of chee yew. anyway, band today wasnt really good. our standard like, drop?
Don't say you love me
You don't even know me
If you really want me
Then give me some time
Don't go there baby
Not before I'm ready
Don't say your heart's in a hurry
It's not like we're gonna get married
Give me, give me some time
-M2M
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Sunday, October 14, 2007
8:15 PM
didnt go church today. went kboxing with hanting, liyan, chek ying and ting ting instead. yea, evil me. sorry! but anyway, had fun singing since it was much cheaper than usual as its kbox's th annivesary so klunch was $5. we sand, had fun, played around and went all crazy. haha. and liyan was a mad dog today. she just kept charging and cgarging at me, trying to take off my socks, my clothes? LOL. it was just crazy. singing was okay though we zhao xia many a time.
went to dhoby to buy 9 theory book too. for my theory class. they're finally going on to grade 2. hmm, hope they do well for the common test this week. and i conclude, ivan is as evil as his dad (me). as they said, like father like son. his theory homework that he gives me can kill. sigh. okay off i go. tata.
im alone arent i? since you're never around to be with me when i needed you. sigh. come back to me, baby. 0 comments
Saturday, October 13, 2007
10:39 PM
it is a dilemna. to go KL or to go thailand. im interested in both. thailand because its cheap, i get to visit a thailand church, have fun with classmates, shop and do CIP. go thailand because its my first time with my darling, we can shop and play as a band. and it is a promise made 2 years ago and only made possible with our band. im just afraid that if i go, and being an sc may screw up like today, then i wont have fun. =( sigh.
i knew i would be too tired to blog. so i blogged on the bus earlier on my hp. after istana went chomp chomp had a great dinner and then talk talk with liyan, yvonne, hanting, ting ting, wi ling and kelly. yea, had fun =)
"well it has been a bad day indeed. as i said, band days = bad days. except ydae when i got my second most heartwatming hug from ivan. The last time i had one its last year after his first common test. it feels great and nice to be loved. haha.so back to today. didnt really start of well when i didnt bring the nominal rowbt it is my mistake on my part. wish that whoever taking over will not have to suffer the same fate as me. kindda terrivle feeling. at least the walk alone in the wide open field at istana helped. but still, feeling kindda helpless. the playign wasnt that bad, though our section almost died and cant pitch but thats that.sigh. reaching zhonghua soon. im glad this nightmare is over. bt next week im not sure. anyway, feeling lonely again as hes sitting at the next sit. so here i am talking to my phone. signing off." 0 comments
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
7:10 PM
I HATE BAND DAYS, NOT BAND.
few lessons i learn today. one, i hate band days cos band days = bad days. two, God is hitting me hardly on my head with a hammer. and it hurts. three, never ever trust anyone. four, im losing everything. five, i suck at amaths.
band days always make me emo. becuase of that someone. somehow, thoughts just pop out of my head and i feel frustrated, dissapointed, sad and everything negative and nothing nice. so i didnt really talk very mrch today. but at least for one thing, band is fun. playing music and especially i will follow him. wow, i tell u, i love the cornets for that song. its is just... nice! and we're finally going KL after so many years of seniors promising us. feel so successful as a leader. but nevertheless, after all that happened today, i hereby conclude band day = bad day. just because of that someone. sigh. so i ended up walking alone to the chiltern park bus stop, reflecting all this silly stuff.
two, God seems to like hitting me with a huge hammer on the head. u noe those where u play in the arcade and the crocodile pops out and u hit it with this bigbig thing. ya, that is what God is using on me. he bangs my head with my grades and seriously, i've never got worse grades then these. never. and then i am so lost, im losing my sense of direction. dont noe where to go, what to do. seriosuly, i really wanted to just jump down and die. today was a rather crapp day.
whatever. anw, three - never trust anyone. so during and before the exam period, people claim to be playing comp and watching videos and what have you. oh and guess what. today when we get back our results, i conclude that playing games and watching youtube help u to score better. kind of stupid, yes thats why i felt so betrayed. fancy lieing that ure playing comp and doing this and what not. and so much for me falling into that trap. apparently, some people seem to be working their ass off. and i stupidly thought they failing together would be a good idea, i guess not.
four, im losing eevrything as i said in my prebious post. and now, im losing my grades totally.
fifth, i suck at amaths cos i barely passed.
see, band days = bad days.
Labels: band days = bad days
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
10:01 PM
SADLY THERE IS NO POST
to tell u the truth, i never like band days. not because band isnt fun. its that stressful tiring job, plus the heartbreaking moments i have to endure. came to realise just now that my emo days coincidentally all happen to be on a band day. ya, u probably noe why.
the year is coming to an end soon. and we'll be getting back our results tmr. i remember first having my sons. they were loving chubby people, until "they" started entering their lives. for the purpose of this case study, lets call "they" as "they" =) so yah, the people whom i love dearly are now.. gone. i remember sharing practically all my secrets with my best friend i ever had last year, my most beloved son. and ka-pow, hes gone with the wind. the second close friendship i had started this year, after synerize. i was pretty close to him, until after the exams when i became forgotten as the one who had helped him all the way, supporting them with whatever i give. the third and probably the last is my alpha and omega, cos yea. started off before i flew to aussie, and thats probably why i was so close. but yea, nothing gold can stay.
somehow, God seems to be taking everything away from him. i do hope it is one of his good plans, because i've lost everything i ever wanted, i ever needed, i've ever desired for. wake me up from this nightmare Lord. oh right, this isnt a nightmare. its a reality.
i've lost my sons. my girl. my nice 2005/6 cornet sound. my leadership potential. my responisbility. my happiness. my grades. my people. and most of all, my senses.
im going crazy. really. i really just wanted to stay at my sectiona homeground earlier and rot there. haha guess what, nobody even realised my existence, lest my dissapearance. dear old insignficant me, playing british invasion all alone. i didnt wanna jump down lest my brians pop and ooze out, but rotting there doesnt seem like a bad idea. maybe that what i should do. or drown my self in the sea.
yea my sons. they were the ones i loved most. on the entire planet, in theh entire universe. of course, God came first but somehow sometimes they are either above God or on par. but anyway, look what i have now. one is attached to a devil worshipper. the other to his future wife. the other with a fellow junior. and the other mesmorised by someone else. and yay, im out of the picture. see, God seems to be taking away everything that i loved.
remember me saying that nice lil' note pinned on my table given by ms chan to remind me that i am significant? i beg to differ. now as i look at it again. i seriously doubt the first line that " many people have given me many positive inputs about you". more like negative and complaints. so what if i put in the effort and take time to help the sec 2s with their work. i aint no gaining anything. not that i want, but well a simple thank you would really brighten up my day, like dickson did. so what if i set the thoery test from 11 to 1 in the wee morning. i just seem like a criminal charged by the spca reported for cruelty to humans. so what if i cared for my class and my band, at the end of the day, its still them who gain the most and selfishly care for themself.
little mr nice was too nice that hes forgotten. thats probably why hes here sitting on the comp blogging his thoughts away- hes all alone, in this huge dark world of his own.Labels: hes all alone in this huge dark world of his own
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